Too many questions

I remember when you looked me into the eyes and said what I wanted to hear. I remember when you called my eyes, winter eyes. I smiled, because I couldn't understand. And I smile now, because now I understand what I am, and what my eyes are for those who stare at them.
It's funny to think about my past, to think about what I've become, to think about all this previous conversations and understand that this is why I can't run away anymore.
I'll never forget how blushed I was when I first thought about all this silly love songs. And I'll never forget all the regrets. I'll never forget the time when I was fully able to run away. And I smiled. And I decided to stay.
And now, here I am, trying to forget everything that made me think I was unworthy, but I keep failing. Why do I keep failing?