I know, honey. I know.
It's okay, I don't know why you've feeling so burdened lately when you could have just talked to me. And even weeks or months ago it wouldn't be a surprise because I already knew back then. Why are you so taken by this unpleansant feeling of sadness and fear when you could have told me what was occuping so much of your soul?
I know, honey. I know.
I know the anger and all the needs, the waspishness, the ugly sensation at the somach pit, the sound of glass being broken over and over again to the point of nothing else being heard when the thoughts go just inside themselves like a confusing mesh. I know the heat and the words that rush out of your lips like wild wind, like fire, like an erupting volcano, gushing like boiling blood out of a fresh wound. Like an insane race, when you run out your mouth faster than your brain. The words are not wording. The brain is not braining. And when you come out of it, it's too late.
Come here, I don't hate you.
I know you like him the same way you knew about my feelings for him before. Honey, we are a mirror of each other's soul, how could I not notice? How could you not notice? Even when you told me I was wrong, the familiar feeling, a deep gut feeling, that you were hiding the truth from me was there, and it never left. And the crumbs kept coming, and they could give all I could need to weave the webs my thoughts are made of.
I don't know why are you feeling bad.
We could have shared the suffering and the anger and the stories. Even that one could be shared like soul sisters, but you couldn't be honest. Were you afraid? Of me? Of what? Why? Do you think so little of me? That I would not handle whatever came after?
Come here, little one. Know that this is what I call "eyes with no lid". I have them since I remember. It's not a power, it's a sickness. Don't be afraid or surprised, see, this is no special skill, this is hell. And it shows me everyday how to understand people, and how to keep loving them even when I see fear, hate, jealousy and very, very ugly things. I can't undone it. And I can't take people out of their journey. I can't warn them too much, even though sometimes I know too much. The same way I know you. And I know your truth. And why it exists.
I know, honey. I know. Don't be upset. I just always knew.
